33 Wishes for 33

Seven days. 168 hours. 10080 minutes. That’s how long I’ve been 33. As my fellow millennials would declare, “I’ve reached my Jesus year.” Societal pressure aside, I appreciate this age because the concept and reality of being in my thirties is no longer a shock to the system. I’m fully immersed in adulthood and firmly understand approximately 76% of what adulthood is about—paying bills.

Nevertheless, my birthday always inspires a compulsion for resolutions, rituals, and planning for the year ahead – something to aim for, a goal to strive for. This year, I decided not to limit myself to ten measly goals; instead, I’m going to push myself to fling 33 goals out into the atmosphere. They oscillate in tone, volleying between serious and absurd, but they are nevertheless things I hope to actualize if not within the year, then within my lifetime. I present to you, 33 for 33:

1. Unlimited VC funding for Black creatives and businesses to sustain their businesses and work. Give me $200,000 because the vibes are “right”.

   

2. I want to be a guest on my favorite podcast, The Big Flop.

   1. I want Comedy Central to reboot Drunk History so I can combine my love of comedy with my passion for history. I’d like to talk about Florynce Kennedy and the Harvard “Pee-In” of 1973. C’mon, y’all, let a bitch shine!

   2. A guest spot on the Re-Living Single podcast. I’m learning so many things, and the show is akin to sitting at the kitchen table listening to your two favorite aunties yapping! If you love television, please tap in!

   3. I want a Wondery podcast. (NPR will also do.)

3. A safe community, not an S-Corp or LLC masquerading as a friend group. 👀

4. A creatively stimulating job that keeps Con Edison, T-Mobile, and Optimum from sending me death threats at least twice a year. (...and vice versa, because why is WiFi $120/month?!)

5. Scratch that, I don’t dream of labor. I want to have access to the things I need because I’m a human being.

6. The downfall of capitalism. Maybe then, I’ll finally be able to do hoodrat things with my friends, on a random Wednesday at 10 a.m.!

   

7. Mutually beneficial and rewarding brand partnerships that grant a modicum of creative input.

8. A reinstated Pilates membership. (I miss the long spine and frog poses more than I expected!)

9. Be around/in water more often; I’m always so at peace when I’m swimming— except that time in July 2023 when I almost drowned in Miami.

   

   Me + my sister-cousins in Lake Como. June, 2025

10. A $50K gift card to TRR! My Obsessions tab overfloweth.

11. Medicaid/Healthcare for all! (Fuck that Big Bill of Bullshit and everyone who voted for it.) 🖕🏽

12. To start my book club and provide free books (and literacy services) of all levels to my community!

13. More trips abroad. JetBlue, where you at?! Delta, are you hearing me?!

14. Continue exploring and experimenting with my aesthetic, leaning into what feels good and authentic. Exploration leads to consistency, right?

    

15. A Zohran Mamdani win in November! Eric Adams going to [federal] prison would be the cherry on top.

16. Stop playing it safe in work, in love, in life. Take risks. BE SEEN!!!

    *shudders at the thought of being perceived*

    

17. Hone my writing and voice and improve consistency by putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) every day.

18. More *good* gifting that I can utilize! Prada?! Loewe?! Bottega?! 👀

19. A brownstone in Harlem with intricate crown molding, a beautiful light-filled office, and a walk-in closet on a very Black block, with neighbors who talk to and support each other.

20. A 30-minute comedy on a premium network, showrun by Yvette Lee Bowser or Larry Wilmore.

21. Hell, I’d settle for a WGA/SAG card and a seat in the Hacks writers’ room. (Yes, I just finished season four. Do you know how FINE Tony Goldwyn, and his lack of eyebrows, has to be to play a villain that I still find attractive?!)

22. Fun, whimsy, and craftsmanship to re-enter the fashion chat. Why so serious?! The state of the world is dark enough.

23. On the contrary, I want the fashion industry to find a politic and stick with it. You can’t support fascism in the C-Suite and support progressivism on the runway. The message and virtue signalling will always fall flat. *coughs in 2020* This is why the industry is in the midst of an identity crisis. The cohesion I desire in a season’s collection is the same I expect in a brand’s politics. (Also, lower your damn prices!)

    

24. Hobbies! I would like to find a hobby (or three) that late-stage capitalism can’t compel me to monetize.

25. Bedding from Tekla and Piglet in Bed.

26. Grow new friendships while nurturing my current ones by hosting small gatherings at home.

    

27. The cessation of the panel industrial complex! Every panel has the same brand-safe talking points. If you aren’t going to tell the truth, please give it a rest and let people mingle/network over domestic Prosecco.

28. Hefty tariffs on podcasting equipment for incels and pick-me’s. The alt-right pipeline has widened into a six-lane freeway at this point, and the traffic is getting heavy. In the words of June Jordan, “I must become a menace to my enemies.”

29. Paint my apartment and frame all my artwork. Adulthood is getting excited over wallpaper and friends getting new stoves.

30. The strength and the will to finish my TBR list!

    

31. An unlimited amount of Humdrum Paper bookmarks. They bring me so much joy!

32. Courage to perform a tight ten routine at a comedy club. However, if heckled, I will turn into Billie Holiday at the 52nd Street Yacht Club. Google it.

    

33. $33M! Nothing big, something light.